Magic Acts
by LILMISSS
Summary: It all started when Anna picked up a magic book, turned Yoh into a fast-growing-back-to-15 baby for a week by accident, got pissed at him and kidnapped Hao. Insane, but still plausible. HaoYoh, only if you use a magnifying glass and squint real hard.
1. Magic!

**Summary: **It all started when Anna picked up a magic book, turned Yoh into a baby for a week by accident, got pissed at him and kidnapped Hao. Insane, but still plausible. HaoYoh.

* * *

**The Authoress would like to say that she is rather bored. And she thinks that Hao is so damn hot. And maybe, just maybe, she'll get a nosebleed just thinking about him.**

**From the above statement, she is so bored. Ohoho.**

**

* * *

**

It all started when Anna picked up a magic book, turned Yoh into a baby for a week by accident, got pissed at him and kidnapped Hao. Insane, but still plausible.

...Maybe we should just start from the beginning.

* * *

Asakura Yoh was mindlessly lying on the floor, his eyes focused on...absolutely nothing. As usual.

They were having a celebration later for Manta, who would be going abroad for a year to study, and Yoh wanted to rest for a hour or so before it began.

Manta was out running a few errands (Anna didn't think that fifty-two tasks were much) and Anna was in her room. Ren and Horo Horo were out doing who knows what...or maybe they were just avoiding Anna.

Faust and Eliza were somewhere in the house, doing...some form of experiment on Yoh's recently deceased goldfish. He named it Orange, and it died 2 weeks into the holiday because Yoh forgot to feed it. He didn't know why he bought it; it must've been because it had been so _boring _since the Shaman Fight was suspended.

Yoh didn't really bother, as he closed his eyes and started to doze off, as the music blasted into his ears. "_Ah_."

The holidays were here, and Yoh had been spending the past weeks training, sleeping and doing chores around the house. Ren, Horo Horo, Chocolove, Ryu, Lyzerg and occasionally Hao would drop by to say hello, but usually for Hao he'd just help himself to all of Yoh's oranges, steal Anna's bra for kicks, get caught by Anna, get caught by Yoh and limp back to Izumo or something.

That _bastard_. He took Yoh's oranges.

Yoh flipped over to his side, and looked around the sparse, empty room. Aside from the small TV set (and it was then that Yoh wondered if being Shaman King would entitle him to a sum of money. They needed a better TV) and the table, it was just...plain.

He felt his large, onyx eyes close. Before he dozed off, he thought of two things.

_Wonder what's with Anna these days. Wonder what's gonna happen to Orange's body?_

_Meh, who cares?

* * *

_

Asakura Hao looked blankly at the food Opacho had so lovingly prepared. Well, she was the only one who wanted to stay on with him in a random place in Japan. His other followers just...came in the day and left by night.

"Opacho, what _is_ this?" Hao asked, pulling a face of disgust.

Opacho blinked at Hao, and then looked at her...creation. She scrunched up her little face for a moment, before she decided on her dish name, "It's porridge, Hao-sama."

"_Porridge_." The brunette eyed the greenish lump of watery _goodness_ before him, and looked at Opacho with a half-hearted smile, "right, how could I _not _know that porridge was _greeeeen_?"

Opacho gave him a huge grin, completely oblivious to the insult Hao had thrown, "I'll make dessert!"

Hao sighed desolutely and waved dismissively, as the girl left the room. When she closed the door shut, Hao burned his own food, his nose twitching at the foul smell and his frown more pronounced as he watched the food twitch, disintegrate, and contort itself into a vile mess in the flames.

"Gross," Hao decided firmly, as he opened the window and tossed his charred procelain plate out into a street, laughing with a pinch of evil and glee as he watched a car screech into a halt, driving itself into a random pole. He observed the man get out of his car, and grinned as he recognized the pointy hair.

"Yo, Tao Ren!" the brunette yelled cheerily, waving at Ren, "how's your car?"

"YOU B-!"

Before Ren could finish insulting Hao, the latter had happily slammed his window shut, before erupting into peals of laughter.

Damn, was he bored.

* * *

Anna closed her book of punishments, and she exited the room, causing Yoh to jump in shock. "A-Anna!"

"Did the dishes?"

"Y-Yeah."

The blonde strode over to him, grabbed him by the collar, and glared coldly into his panicked eyes. "Did you?"

"Meep!" Yoh gulped in, as Anna glared even harder, "NO, I DIDN'T, OKAY?! STOP LOOKING AT MEEEEEE!"

"Good boy." Anna finished, as she triumphantly let him drop to the ground. Yoh picked himself up quickly and ran off into the kitchen to do some dishes. She sat down in front of the TV set and started flipping the channels monotonously.

Manta arrived soon after, and he set down all the groceries before greeting Anna, "Hey."

"Mm." Anna responded drearily, not looking up. Manta sighed, and he left his library book on the table, before proceeding to the kitchen.

Amidamaru randomly appeared to greet Mosuke, the latter who came in after Manta.

"Hey, Mosuke-san."

"Hey, Amidamaru," Mosuke responded back, and he...floated over to the table, and picked up Manta's book in excitement, "read this!"

Amidamaru raised his eyebrow at his best friend's sudden excitement, so he floated over to Mosuke's side. His eyes darted about, scanning the book silently. The two friends exchanged glances at the last page, and they both exhaled out, "Woaaaah..."

"You mean you can _actually_ do this?" Amidamaru asked, grinning.

"Never tried..." Mosuke muttered, "but it'd be cool if we could turn people into babies..."

"Oooo. Can we ask Yoh to try it?" Amidamaru pondered for a moment, and he grinned evilly at Anna, who was supposedly watching TV.

Mosuke looked at Amidamaru curiously, and then at Anna, before grinning, "Ohoho, awesome, dude!"

"...Mosuke, where did you pick THAT up?"

"That what?"

"That...language!"

"Oh. Picked it from Ryu, man. Real swell."

Amidamaru gaped, "Omigosh, you're freaking 600 years old and counting, using THAT language?"

"...It's called being in the trend."

As the two bickered on, Anna took the opportunity to (eagerly but not showing it) pick up the magic book. She flipped through the pages, and smirked to herself.

Well, this was gonna be interesting.

* * *

Hao felt himself flinch involuntarily, not because of Opacho's dessert. Though...you couldn't really call the blue slob before him dessert.

"Hao-sama?" Opacho asked uncertainly, "what wrong?"

"Nothing. I just feel...that something _bad _is gonna happen to me later." Hao replied casually, and he smiled at Opacho eerily, so much so that she hurried herself to the kitchen to clean up.

He looked at the blue mess and burned it again.

* * *

"Yoh." Anna called out, and Yoh bolted out of the kitchen, saluting in front of Anna. She eyed him, before smiling, causing Yoh to back away slowly.

"...Yes?" Yoh managed, as Anna stood up from her position.

"Can I try something on you?" Anna asked, but usually what she said was a statement, of sorts. Yoh gulped and braced himself.

_Crap._

* * *

"Reeeeenny!" Horo Horo drawled, as he poked Ren in the rib, causing the Chinese boy to jump, "when the HELL are we gonna reach?"

"Yayaya, Ren!" Chocolove snapped, as he peered in from the back seat, "when are we gonna reach, dude? We're gonna be late for Manta's farewell part_ay_!"

"Don't call _me_ dude!" Ren hollered angrily, as he bashed his car horn furiously. Bason appeared behing the back seat, his huge frame crushed and restrained in the small car, and the warrior spirit sighed as Ren continued, "It's that _idiot _Hao!"

* * *

"I think I heard myself getting insulted by Renny-chan." Hao mused to himself, and he giggled randomly.

"Opacho think Ren is baka." the girl chimed in, in her plain, incomplete English.

"Great minds think alike..." Hao muttered, a smile forming.

* * *

"Who in the right mind would throw a freaking burnt _plate _out of a window, dammit?!" Ren lamented, and Horo Horo made a mental note to himself not to sit next to Tao Ren when driving. Ever.

"My whole car's ruined! We're late for their dinner! Anna's g-!" Ren stopped in his sentence, and the name lingered in the air for a moment.

"ANNA!"

* * *

Manta sweatdropped as he looked at Anna, cradling a certain brunette baby.

"Anna, since when were you _pregnant_?" Manta choked out, before cracking up. Anna glared at him, and forcefully stroked the baby, causing him to scream and wail in response.

"This is Asakura Yoh. Manta, say hi." Anna stated, sticking out young Yoh for Manta to absorb in the information.

Yoh blinked at Manta, before gurgling and...spitting on Manta.

"AIYEEEEEEEH!" Manta screamed, as he swatted off all the saliva. Manta's sudden outburst caused Yoh to giggle madly, pointing his tubby finger at Manta, "MantamantaMANTA!"

Manta stumbled backwards, and Anna continued to cradle baby Yoh.

"How did Yoh get turned into a baby?!" the short boy blurted out, and he looked in horror as Anna stepped aside, revealing Amidamaru and Mosuke binded by her necklace. Then he looked in horror again as Anna waved his new magic book in his face.

"Mosuke-san!" Manta cried out.

"I feel paaaaaaain!" Mosuke cried back.

"Anna...!" Amidamaru let out, as the two spirits started to sob randomly. The sight of the two huge, supposedly menacing spirits crying made Yoh gurgle again, and the boy started giggling his head off.

"Manta, you're really going abroad, huh?" Anna mused, as she forced Yoh to drink down his milk (Anna soon realised that Ren had sparingly saved it for today, but she didn't care)

"Y-Yeah..."

"Oh. Then I'll need _someone_ to do my chores while I take care of Yoh." the girl pointed out bluntly, and Manta sighed in relief, but then he cocked his head to a side.

"Who?"

"Well..." Anna thought of it for a moment, "Amidamaru can't do much, since he'll be watching over Yoh..."

She looked at Amidamaru, who was making funny faces for Yoh. The young baby looked at him, and attempted to pull Amidamaru's hair. Anna set Yoh down to play with the warrior.

"Pirika gives Horo Horo torture, Ren gets loving torture from Jun, Chocolove is an idiot and it'll give Yoh a bad influence, Ryu...is out of question; that idiot will bring my hot spring business down, Lyzerg's flight home is tomorrow, Tamao can't do it either because she's helping out at the Asakuras..."

Manta glanced at Anna for a moment, "So...?"

Anna looked at Yoh, and then she took a cursory look at the photograph of Yoh and Hao recently taken. Yoh was on Hao's back, a huge triumphant grin on his face as an upset Hao glares at the camera.

And she smiled.

* * *

Hao felt himself freeze again, which was quite an irony since he had the freaking Spirit of Fire next to him.

The Spirit of Fire looked at Hao uneasily.

"I...don't think we should be here in a random park at night. Okay, walk's over."

* * *

**Okay, I'm stopping here to game!**

**My next update's on...Saturday or Sunday. Or the weekend after that. Yeah. By then. I have my exams next week!**

**Review. Or the next chapter will be a rant about how hot Hao is.  
**

* * *


	2. Make the Great Escape And Fail

Asakura Yoh clutched his shirt nervously, his bright onyx eyes staring at the vegetables laden on the table, specially for him. "NO!"

Anna gave young, 15-year-old-turned-4-year-old Yoh a death glare, and with that, the boy started whimpering, his lips quivering in fear.

"Eat up," Anna said, as she sat opposite the boy, her eyes watching the boy's own. She picked up her own pair of chopsticks, and started to eat, as Yoh clumsily picked up his own pair of chopsticks, cocking his head curiously at the _strange_ utensil he was wielding. The boy fumbled with his fingers, trying to position them properly just like Anna.

Ren, Horo Horo, Chocolove and Manta exchanged glances. "Yoh," Manta started, "you don't know how to use those, don't you?"

The boy whipped his head around, his oversized headphones dangling from his undersized ears, and nodded vigorously. "No..." He started to snivel, and the four boys panicked. Anna simply put down her chopsticks, and glared at the child again, before resuming her meal when Yoh stopped.

Tamao walked in, with Ponchi and Conchi trailing behind, and she gave Yoh a small smile. "He grows fast..."

Anna nodded her head. "Grew 2 years older in one afternoon," she noted, and she put down her chopsticks again, "but he'll grow slowly over the next 7 days til he hits 15."

Ren crossed his arms. "I don't see why I can't fight him now."

Amidamaru randomly materialized. "I can't fight in his minitaure body!"

Bason randomly materialized as well, and he snickered. "I bet he can't even say 'Amidamaru in Harusame'."

On cue, Yoh yelled, "Ameedamaru in Haaaa-lusame!", before he beamed in pride and started giggling. Amidamaru went to his (very) young master's side and started clapping in awe.

Anna glared at the duo. "Don't disturb him while he's eating. Yoh, you have yet to touch your vegetables." She stood up from her seat and crossed her arms, "So I want your plate clean by the time I get back."

She turned her head to the spectators; Ren, Horo Horo, Chocolove, Tamao and Manta. "Don't you DARE help Yoh eat his food. I have spirits watching you."

Instantly, tons of random ghostly heads seeped through the walls and ceiling, smiling eerily at the crowd, and then at Yoh, who started to bawl in fright. Anna gave him a death glare and Amidamaru attempted to calm the boy.

"Yoh-dono! It's okay! Amidamaru-san's here!"

She shoo-ed the 5 of them out of the room, before closing the door. Then, she picked up her bag and walked out of the door.

"Where are ya going?" Horo Horo asked, as the four boys followed Anna out to the door.

"Somewhere." And she smirked.

* * *

Asakura Hao shivered again, and that somehow managed to elicit a loud rumble from his stomach.

Opacho heard it, and she frowned in confusion, "Hao-sama is still hungry after my food?"

"Lost my appetite," Hao dismissed quickly, giving the girl a faint smile, "though I'm pretty sure something _bad _is gonna happen soon..." He looked around the sparse room, and he sighed.

"Okay. Opacho will make appetizer!"

Hao froze, and he immediately summoned his Spirit of Fire to stop her. That caused the entire room to go up in flames.

"Damn."

* * *

Anna followed her wonderfully acute sense of smell, and soon, she found Asakura Hao and his (puny; Anna would describe) sidekick Opacho sitting amidst the burnt debris of a building. The Spirit of Fire was behind them, supposedly...digging its nose.

"Oh, Anna!" Hao greeted, waving at her. He looked around, and then realised that he razed the whole building to the ground. Right. "Uh, I think I burnt your bras."

"Opacho liked the pink one with flowers on it."

"Really? I thought the black one was nicer. But, since you're a girl, I guess it's understandable..."

Anna simply walked up to Hao and gave him a punch, randomly knocking him unconscious, since he didn't really expect a _punch_ from a_ girl. _Then, she binded him with her beads and strode off.

"Hao-sama!" Opacho screamed, and she ran towards his limp body, carelessly dragged by Anna.

The Spirit of Fire didn't give a damn about its owner. Just for now. Who got punched by a girl and fainted anyway? He had better things to do. Like digging his nose. Hehe. Booger.

* * *

Yoh belched in disgust. Amidamaru, who had absorbed himself into a male voodoo doll made by Anna for torture purposes to feed Yoh sighed in relief.

"At least you finished..." Amidamaru muttered, as he fed Yoh the final leaf of his spinach. The boy slowly chewed the leaf, befoe gurgling down the whole mess of green with his 79th cup of milk (and Amidamaru made a mental note to remind Yoh to buy milk for Ren once he hits 15 again, since Anna wasn't gonna do it)

"Yaaaaaay!" Yoh cheered, and he quickly got up from his seat and ran out of the door, dragging an oversized Amidamaru, already out of the voodoo doll, "let's plaaaaay!"

He burst out of the room, and then his eyes met a certain pair of similar ones, just that that pair of onyx eyes were filled with utter shock.

Anna tugged at the beads, causing Hao to stumble back. "Yoh," Anna started, "meet your onii-chan, Asakura Hao. He'll be cooking your meals, doing your chores, and he'll be your servant until you grow older."

"This kid is YOH?!"

"Yay, can I play with him?!"

"Opacho wants to play too!" the girl chimed, as she stood beside Hao. The elder brother looked at Yoh and Opacho, who were of the same height.

And he burst out laughing.

* * *

"Would you like some tea, Opacho?"

"Okay, Yoh-kun!" Opacho lifted her miniature cup and let Yoh pour imaginary tea into the cup. Then she turned to Hao, who was seated in the corner, his hair tied up in many different ribbons, and asked innocently, "Hao-sama, would you like some tea?"

"No."

The two kids exchanged glances and started to cry in response. Hao jumped, and he grabbed the two kids and covered their mouths, "Shuuuuush!"

Yoh decided to play hero and started to lick Hao's hand, causing the teen to yelp in horror. Then, he bit Hao's other arm, and shoved Hao away, and Opacho was free.

Amidamaru watched the peculiar scene. Hao was in some frilly pink outfit ("You can't flaunt your stupid chest with your stupid cloak in front of MY Yoh," Anna stated, and Yoh happily picked out an outfit for Hao) and he had his hair (A/N: those GORGEOUS locks of HAIR!) tied up in not two, but twenty ponytails. Yoh had accidentally pulled out a small tuff of his hair (and Amidamaru guessed that Hao would've killed Yoh if only the Spirit of Fire didn't dump him) and it was now a meagre hairball lying in the corner of the room.

The samurai met the teen's upset face, and Amidamaru gave him a small sympatic smile.

"Don't belittle me." Hao hissed angrily.

"I'm not."

The boy sighed and he looked back at Yoh, who was eating an imaginary cookie. The young boy looked at his elder brother, before grinning. "Haaaao!"

An angry glare. "What?"

"I'm boooored. Anythin' teh do?"

"Opacho thinks Hao-sama is fun!"

Hao blinked at Opacho, and for a moment, he remembered that 'fun' for Opacho meant doing evil stuff, like burning stuff, pissing off old ladies...

...Pissing Anna off would be a good change.

"Okay. Yoh, do you wanna do something _fun_?" Hao asked, an evil smile crossing his face.

"Yoh-dono will NOT go anywhere!" Amidamaru yelled, and he flew to Yoh's side.

"B-But, I wanna play!" Yoh retorted, his bright puppy eyes looking up at his spirit, "and Hao's muh brotha! He wouldn't hurt me!"

"Unlike Anna..." Hao muttered, and he cast a cursory glance out of the window. Spirit of Fire was outside, scratching its...armpits. Hao wrinkled his nose in disgust, while Yoh just giggled.

The teen looked at Amidamaru, who sighed in frustration. "Yoh-dono, do you really wanna go...?"

"YA!"

The spirit sighed, "Anna will kill you!"

The elder brunette rolled his eyes. "Oh, whatever. I lived longer than you, so technically YOU should be respecting ME! Harh, 600 years? Beat me and my 1015 years and counting!"

He ripped the offending frilly dress from his body in shreds, just like some random rockstar who decided to strip live. Opacho handed him a maroon dress shirt, and Hao took it, replacing his cloak with it. Then, with Opacho facing away and climbing up the window, the boy took off his (A/N: incredibly HOT) pants and picked up a worn out pair of dark blue denim jeans from who-knows where. That was when Yoh started screaming at Hao's boxers; Hao shut him up by hastily pulling up his jeans and muttering, "You wear that too, when you were fifteen..."

Adjusting his fingerless gloves with his name imprinted on the lego-like things (A/N: don't you just LOVE Hao wearing Legos? Building blocks has never looked so hot!), he scooped Yoh up in his arms, causing the toddler to squeal in delight.

"Are you always like this?" Hao asked, and he tossed the toddler up gently, catching him back with ease, "and you're light."

Yoh clapped his hands wildly, "Yay we gonna play-play-PWAAAAY!"

"Yeah..." Hao chortled at Yoh, poking his nose playfully. The latter responded by attempting to suck his finger, but Hao managed to pull back in time.

Amidamaru blocked the window before Hao and Yoh could make their escape. "Yoh-dono, what will Anna say when you come back?" He turned to Hao, who gave him a blank stare, "and Hao, wouldn't Anna murder you when YOU come back?"

"But Onii-chan will prot-"

Hao scoffed. He clambered up, and plopped down on the toy box beneath the window. "No way, I'm leaving! I won't do stupid stuff like cooking for Anna! HA, over my dead body I'll do that!" Hao proclaimed loudly, and he forcefully climbed out of the window, only to meet face to face with Anna's knuckles.

* * *

"Stupid woman."

Hao cursed under his breath, as he angrily scrubbed the dishes, with Anna supervising the punishments for the Asakura brothers. Opacho had escaped completely unharmed with Hao's Spirit of Fire.

Which was good, since Hao didn't want to play tea-time anymore.

Yoh looked dolefully at Hao, and then he frowned, before taking another plate from the stack and cleaning it dry with a rag. He whined, "Can't Hao do thees for muh?"

Anna simply gave Yoh a glare, and the young boy shrunk back cowardly. Hao shot Anna a glare, "You shouldn't treat a kid like that."

"Neither should I treat a 1015-year-old idiot like this," Anna replied coldly, crossing her arms and giving Hao a scarier glare, "but do I LOOK like I care about age?"

Hao rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Anna simply ignored it and strode off, leaving the two boys to their chores.

Yoh looked at Hao, seemingly concentrated on scrubbing the dishes, and he looked at his wet rag, before grinning. He climbed up the stool steathily, and was about to smack the rag in Hao's face when his brother mused, "I don't _like _my face wet, you know."

The young boy blinked at Hao, and he pouted, "How do YOU know?"

"I read minds, dumbass."

"D-Doooombass...?" Yoh questioned, as he peered into the bubble-filled sink.

Hao blinked, before he laughed, "Yes. Dumbass. D-U-M-B-A-S-S. If you call someone a 'dumbass', that would mean that THAT someone is stupid, annoying and well...yeah."

"Oooo. Yay, I learnt a new word!"

_Heh. I polluted his mind.

* * *

_

Tao Ren shuffled into the home, and he walked past the kitchen to pass Anna some baby stuff for Yoh when he saw Asakura Hao, that evil long-haired guy with a big ego, called him 'tiny' and had this huge spirit, doing the dishes with Yoh, the little 4-year-old kid who beat him when he was fifteen...boy, was that weird when you thought of it.

"Hao?"

Said person turned around, his brown hair almost whipping Yoh's face. "Tao _Renny_?" he asked, in the same, uncertain tone that the Chinese boy had used earlier on him.

"Don't call me that, baka!"

"It's so fun to piss you off."

"Peesssss?" Yoh asked again, and Hao grinned at Ren, who decided that this was going to be interesting. He pulled a chair into the kitchen, as Hao started to explain the 2nd offending word.

* * *

"Asakura Yoh," Anna called, and the young boy scrambled with his small legs to the blonde. Hao let fire materialize in his two hands, watching the flames almost lick the few water droplets off, before he gestured for Ren to exit the kitchen to the living area, where Anna was.

"Yeh, Anna?" Yoh asked, and he ran over into her not-so-warm arms, trying to elicit a response from the girl.

He first tried to crawl beneath her arms to be embraced, but Anna brought her arms closer to her chest. Then, he tried to hug her himself, but since it didn't seem very comfortable to hug her arms as well, he shuffled to her side and tried to hug her from there, but Anna simply shifted away from him, raising an eyebrow.

Hao and Ren exchanged glances, and they started to laugh hysterically as Yoh innocently tried to show his love for the female.

"Annaaaaa..." Yoh wailed, shaking her arm and trying to shove his head into the crook of her arm. Anna gave him a glare, so he backed away and ran to hug Hao's legs.

"D-Damn!" Hao cursed, as he attempted to walk with Yoh bawling into his jeans (they were HANDWASHED by Hao himself; that idiotic kid!) and binding his legs together with his own tubby legs. Ren laughed even harder, clutching his stomach as the great Asakura Hao fell forward, groaning in frustration.

He shifted himself such that he was facing the crying Yoh, and he allowed a small flame to ignite in his palm. The younger Asakura looked up from his denim tissue, his eyes sparkling with glee.

"If you let go of me, I'll let you touch it, " Hao stated, and Yoh immediately freed Hao's legs. Then, he crawled and leaned forward, looking into the fire in awe. He reached out slowly to touch the flame.

"HAO!" all three (Anna, Ren and Amidamaru who materialized from nowhere) screamed in unison.

"No worries," Hao said, as Yoh halted his movement, "because fire wouldn't disobey its _master_."

Yoh nodded his head eagerly, and he slowly stroked the flame in awe, with the three of them watching carefully. The fire shaman smiled, as he allowed Yoh more access to the flame by holding his hand out for Yoh to grab. At first the boy, young, innocent, curious, tried to find the source of the flame by grabbing Hao's fingers and examining them, almost torching his own hair. Then he tried to take off Hao's gloves, but the teen quickly tugged them back in place, tutting at Yoh.

"Oxygen," Hao explained, reading Yoh's mind, "makes the flame burn."

Yoh cooed in awe, and he pulled Hao's entire arm closer to him so that he could have a better view. "It's hot..."

"That's fire, alright."

"Ahhhh..." Yoh beamed in joy at his new discovery, "ox-say-geeeeen..."

"...You don't know what that means, do you?"

"Nope."

* * *

**Woopeeeeeee. Okay. I almost considered changing this into YohAnna after I wrote that scene, but since Hao is so hot, I succumbed and made it cute (possibly imaginary) HaoYoh!**

**REVIEW, PEEPS! Or I shall do evil things.**


	3. Warm and Toasty Kiss

**A/N: Ohoho, I like my story.**

**Anyway, does anyone here like Kingdom Heaaaaarts? If yes, GO READ MY STORIES!**

**And if anyone wants me to write a serious YohAnnaHao love triangle that will be cheesy, corny, with an incredibly hot Hao (and I blame myself for being _such_ a fangirl...his hair is so hot!) and the usual crap that I like, go to my profile and vote...unless you randomly so happen to like Pokemon or Kingdom Hearts. Or The World Ends with You, but that was one story to begin with.**

**So...ah, I will update next week, perhaps.**

* * *

"B-But I don't WANT Yoh sleeping with me!" Hao retorted weakly, his voice in a urgent hiss.

Anna simply rolled her eyes. Crossing her arms, she opened the door for Yoh to stumble back in. "Yoh, who do you want to sleep with? Me, or your Onii-chan?"

Yoh blinked for a moment, and thought about sleeping with Anna.

* * *

_"Anna, I'm scared! 'Dere's something underneath muh bed!"_

_"Yoh, shut up. There is nothing."_

_"B-But-!"_

_Anna rolled over to his side, and gave him a cold glare. "Disturb me again and I'll make sure YOU sleep underneath the bed." With that, she rolled back, facing away from him._

_The poor young boy snivelled, and he snuggled up closer to Anna's back, but he was met with a painful smack in the face. With wide, fearful eyes, Asakura Yoh stared up at the ceiling; the cold, unforgiving ceiling._

_Life had never looked so scary._

_

* * *

_

"HAO!" Yoh screamed in horror, as he quickly ran into Hao's arms. The boy snuggled into Hao's chest, causing him to flinch.

It was only when Yoh started snoring that Hao realised that Yoh must've been exhausted from the day. With a small resolute sigh, he cradled his brother closer to him. "So...where do we sleep?"

* * *

"Stupid woman."

Hao crawled into his futon (A/N: they call it that, right?!) his one arm balancing Yoh, and his other arm unfolding the bedsheets. "Stupid woman," he repeated again, looking about the room.

Technology. Oh, the horror. Anna sure knew how to piss him off. There was the TV, the air-conditioner (and Anna had specifically mentioned that Hao had to switch on the air-con), a fridge, a computer, the telephone...

Hao would've burned them all, but Yoh would've woken up and started screaming "FIREEEEEE! OOOOO, PRETTAAAAAY!" and Anna would've been notified and she'd murder Hao and bury him in a lousy cemetery.

But it peeved him off so much that he wasn't going to sacrifice his life to...

"I switched it on for you." Anna stated, and she waved the remote control of the air-conditioner, before walking off, shutting the door behind her. Hao gave a soft scowl, and all those information about global warming and stuff came into his head.

_CFCs, air-conditioners, hot air, ice melting..._

_...This cool air..._

_...no Hao, stop enjoying the technology...! No, no, NO!...damn, why does it have to be so..._

_...Argh, I'll enjoy it...for now...!_

Hao could've sworn he heard Anna chuckle, but he paid no attention to it. He unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it carelessly on the floor. Then, he shifted Yoh to a side, before creeping into the futon himself. With the lights dimmed, he closed his eyes, listening to the whir of the air-conditioner, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

"Haaooooo..." Yoh muttered drowsily into his brother's ear, almost ripping out his star earring by simply tugging at his ear, "Haaooooo..."

"Mmm...?" Hao, with his back still turned away from him answered with equal dreariness.

"W-Why is it s-so hot with 'da air-con?"

Hao snickered at that. "Maybe it's because I'm a fire shaman."

"Then...can I take off my clothes?"

"Whatever, kid."

"Yay!"

Yoh struggled out of his shirt, and then beneath the futon he unzipped his pants, peeled off his pants and was about to take off his underwear when Hao turned around to raise an eyebrow. "Keep that on, Yoh..."

"B-But it's hooooot!"

"That's because I'm here. You asked me to sleep with you, and this is what you get," Hao muttered, as he groggily sat up to look at Yoh, with one hand on the edge of his underwear. He smacked his forehead, "Okay, you know what? Put on your clothes; I'm moving to sleep on the floor, away from you so that you'll be cool and comfy."

The brunette stretched for a moment, then he crawled towards the side of the room, next to the wall. He looked at Yoh, who gave him a concerned look, his large eyes looking at him. "What?"

"It's cold again..." Yoh whispered, and he pulled on his pants and shirt, before snuggling into the futon. Yoh looked at Hao expectantly, a small smile creeping on the little boy's face, "I want a goodnight's kiss."

"..._What_?"

"Kiss muh forehead! Like, like how Otou-san and Oka-san did!" Yoh pointed to his forehead, tapping it for effect. He grinned at Hao, "so can you do that?"

And Hao wondered if he should've killed Mikihisa-san and Keiko after she gave birth. Or maybe told them off when they started this whole kissing practice. Life would've been much simpler.

"No."

"B-B-Buuuuuuuuuut...!" Yoh snivelled and pouted at Hao, but the fire shaman didn't budge. Then, the child was about to wail, when Hao widened his eyes and shut him up.

"Okay! Go to bed first," Hao muttered softly, a sigh escaping from his lips.

"Yay!" Yoh happily crawled back into the futon, and he gave Hao his wide, expectant grin. The teen frowned, before he too, crawled over to Yoh.

"Goodnight... otouto," Hao whispered softly, and Yoh smiled gratefully as he planted a small kiss on the boy's forehead. Then, Hao himself smiled, before crawling back to his sleeping place.

* * *

"Wake up, Asakuras."

Hao heard that sickening feminine voice belonging to the blonde, and he was about to get up when he suddenly realised that there was a certain something on his chest.

"Yoh...?"

Yoh, who had snuggled up on Hao's chest like a little kitten on a huge couch, yawned softly. He looked up, into the wide eyes of his onii-chan. "Oh...onii-chan."

"_Why _are you on my chest?"

"I-I was scared..." he sniffed, as he sat up, sitting on Hao's exposed stomach, "and I had this nightmare..."

He rubbed his eyes wearily, and Hao sighed. "Okay...so what was it about?"

"This yellow square had this evil smile...and he used da fishang' net to catch me! He thought I wuz a jellayfish!" (A/N: Hehe!) Yoh flailed his arms wildly to express himself better.

"...Oh."

"Scary, huh?!" Yoh yelled.

"...No. Not really." Hao muttered, as he shoved Yoh off. The boy sat back up.

"Get out of the room; Anna will kill you if you don't get up on time."

Yoh's eyes widened as he screamed, "ANNAAAAAAAA!"

Hao rolled his eyes. He picked up his maroon dress shirt and put it on, as Yoh screamed hiss way out of the room. Then, he followed suit, into the living area, where Horo Horo, Ren, Chocolove and Anna were.

"Ohayou!" Yoh yelled, waving as he scrambled into the room, narrowly avoiding Hao's legs. The young boy looked at Anna, and then at his friends. "Where's my breakfast?"

The fire shaman shook his head slowly, and when the other three shamans noticed his presence, Horo Horo started to laugh hysterically, "Which _guy_ wears a shirt like THAT?!"

"A 1015-year-old young teenager who would've_ killed _you for insulting his shirt only if his otouto wasn't a 9-year-old kid..." Hao trailed off, and he examined Yoh for a moment, before smiling, "yep, he's nine, alright. Just six more years to grow in...6 days, and I'll be free to do random stuff."

Chocolove was about to say something when Ren and Anna glared at him. "Don't say it."

Hao grimaced, as he finished reading Chocolove's thoughts, "That wasn't very funny."

"You're 1015; old people can't laugh at MY jokes!"

* * *

"So, madam, you're saying that this Asakura Hao person burned Chocolove alive to _that _extent without any gas or any flammable substance nearby?"

"...Yes." Anna replied.

"Where is this guy?"

"Here..." Hao walked out of the house, as he stood next to Anna, with Yoh clutching his hand tightly, "so do you need me to like, answer stuff?" He looked at Yoh, and then gave the officers a smile.

"But just so you know, I'm a nice guy who helps this lady here to do chores, look after this kid, and I have no criminal record and absolutely no motive for burning Chocolove...aside from a joke he wanted to share, but he didn't even say the joke before the accident happened." He looked at Anna, who simply looked away, and he continued, "and I'm such a nice person, I volunteered to do this even though I'm not being paid!"

* * *

Hao, Anna and Yoh strolled back into the house, with Yoh sitting on Hao's shoulders, giggling about how tasty the clouds were (not that Hao knew of any clouds nearby) The blonde girl scoffed, "Chocolove was getting on my nerves anyway."

"Pfth, doesn't he _always_?" Hao lamented, as they walked back into the living room.

* * *

**Couldn't think. Wanted more reviews...!**


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